REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES

Ever since I have been  conducting trainings, I have met people from all walks of life particularly women, who have inspired me along the way. Women with courage and determination. I believe their true life experiences can inspire many more lives. Here's to all of the real life fighters who have fought their way through all adversities and changed the course of their lives for the better.

I met Aparna ( name changed ) a few years ago during a sales presentation. A mother of two  and a housewife. In the months to come , I had to the opportunity to know her more closely. What she had shared with me appalled me  with sheer horror . I felt so sad that so many women are suffering in their trapped lives.

Aparna was forced into marriage at the age of 16 to someone who was 18 years older to her. She had no choice into the matter as her parents needed to ' fulfil their parental duty '.

On the first day of marriage, she was beaten and raped by her drunken husband. A child herself, had no clue whatsoever of what was happening to her. She just cried herself to sleep. A month later, She discovered that she was with child. Her in-laws were extremely nice and that was the reason she apparently overlooked her husband torments at night.

She delivered her first child , a son who she thought was a gift from God. She mentioned in passing to her mother about how her husband had treated her. But nobody paid any attention. Their only reply was that she probably irritated him.But Aparna's husband became worse  after she arrived from her parents house.  His beatings increased and  it grew more difficult for her to bear. 

She decided to take matters in her own hands and decided to speak to her brother- in -law who was respected in the family and was the only person her husband feared. He was shocked at his brother's behaviour and reassured her that he would speak to his brother. Aparna's husband was even more angered by this and told him to stay out of it and accused Aparna of talking to younger boys and being unfaithful. He then decided to leave the house with her and the child to Mumbai. Once there, he relentlessly tortured her and she  said she had even accepted it with no more strength to fight. She felt that anything she did would not change the situation but worsen it. She felt trapped and helpless.

She was happy in Mumbai as there were so many people in their chawl and she felt her time passing by. She had another child , a girl who the husband despised . He kept referring to the little girl as ' bad luck '. After a few years, his business seemed to be having problems. He would take out his anger on Aparna and kept blaming the daughter for the bad luck that she brought.

One day, he came home in the mid-afternoon and told  Aparna to dress the girl up and pack her clothes. She didn't dare question him. He left with the child and came back after a few hours empty handed. Aparna started questioning him, but he just ignored her.She then started screaming and asking him what he had done with the child. He just smirked and told her that he had ' taken care of the bad luck '. She was terrified thinking of what he could have done to her innocent daughter.

That was the day she decided enough is enough.The next morning, after her husband left for work. She called up her in-laws and informed them of what had happened. She then went to the police station and reported the case. For her  good luck, one of the policemen was from her home town. He went out of the way to help her. Her husband was brought in for questioning and they found out that the little girl was left at an ashram. Aparna was overjoyed to see her daughter. 

She decided that she will never give in to her husband anymore. She left back to her mother's house the next day. She started working as a house maid just to look after her needs . Shortly in a few months, she had her children admitted to a hostel. She applied for a  passport and applied for jobs as an ayah to work in the gulf. She worked for  in the Gulf for  7 years . She  learnt English while was working in the gulf. One of her employers also taught her  a few things about administrative jobs. 

She came back to India and started working in an office as a receptionist. She admitted her son in an engineering college and her daughter is in the first year of college studying commerce.

Aparna suffered silently for so many years because of lack of support from her family. She had accepted her fate and allowed injustice to control her life. It was only when her daughter's life was in danger that she woke up to the harsh reality of her life.She never looked back after that. She depended on no one and did not expect help from anybody as she knew nobody would  help as her experience in the past.She fought for her life, for her freedom and she is an amazing example of how people can transform their lives when they are put to test.